I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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