oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
