Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize