There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
He kissed a someone with a penis
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
So vagazzling was a success
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
