Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
