escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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