watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
