just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
