Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
