i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Randomize
