tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Terrible idea I love it
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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