I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
