Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Randomize