I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
