i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
