i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
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I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
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no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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