So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
