i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm like, not good at living.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
