it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
