did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
