hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
