Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
