the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
