I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
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