I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize