"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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