i think i have herpe
just one?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
this hospital has no fireball
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
