mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
