She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
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I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
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Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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