We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
