i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
