hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
nutella sex= disaster
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my penis look like a turkey
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize