just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
