How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
