So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
