Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
