we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
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It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
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you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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