in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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