my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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