What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
