Kareoke will never be a sober sport
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
