i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
