And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize