Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
