Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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