Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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