when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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