The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
