At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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