I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
