when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
3 2 1 whiskey
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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