Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
