dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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