Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
