trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize