Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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