At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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