I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
